That's irritating

I saw this bald guy talking to a bunch of lost souls and he kept moving his hands, round and round and round, like he thought it was the thing to do. It gave me a headache so I turned away.

He was talking about escaping the ego but he himself was a giant ego.

What do you mean, anyway? Give me something honest to hold onto, like grabbing a magic horse. Yeah, if someone told me to find a magic horse in the treetops and to grab onto its mane and take off and fly then I'd do that. Stop telling me to let go and be free. That's too easy, man.

I'm irritated by these false prophets. I'm not moved by them in a positive way one bit. Nobody really seems to get the fucking nothing, man. Nobody gets it!

What's going on with Russia!? I don't know what to do. I saw this guy yesterday get totally in a sweat because some chick found out the code to his underground cave where he did some kind of bad shit. "Is this the collective unconcious?" I thought. No. It was just a dream.

Sometimes, when I'm picking oranges out in the field, I come across thoughts which I don't like. They irritate me. Thoughts like, "What am I gonna do tonight?" or "I wonder why this Earth's here?" or "Peas make soup but I'm a gloop." What is that shit, man?

I'll tell you what else irritates me. The good ol' USA. Someone said, "I was away for years and things were going wrong but then I got the money together and now I'm home in the USA."

Man, if you'd been away for years you wouldn't talk like that. No way. That just irritates me.

Anything else?

Sure, lots of things. But I don't want to go on and on about them. That sort of thing irritates me.

God! Everything's so darn irritating!

Famous Blue Raincoat Leonard Cohen

It´s ten in the evening, the end of December and I´m writing this now just to see if I´m better. Lapland is cold but I like where I´m living; there´s music on the radio all through the evening.

I hear that you´re building your little tree house up in the tree. You´re living on nothing now, I hope you´re eating some kind of food.

Oh, by the way, Jane came by with a lock of your hair...she said that you gave it to her that night that you planned to hunt deer. Did you ever hunt deer?

Geezo, the last time we saw you you looked so much colder, your thick winter jacket was torn at the shoulder. You´d been up to the ski station to try to train and you came home without that Dane (what was his name again?)

And then you gave my wife a cadbury´s flake and ever since then she´s caused nothing but strife.

It´s funny. I picture you there with the gypsy who had cadbury´s roses for teeth...hang on, that´s Jane up, she wants me to get her a cuppa..back in a mo...

Jane sends her bests.

What can I say, bro, killa? I haven´t really got much news. I suppose I should say I miss you and all that, and I don´t mind that you broke my bike; if you hadn´t I might have ended up hurting myself.

If you swing by at any point to see any of us you should know that the fatman is too lazy these days to cause any hassle and his girlfriend is always up for a bit of a fling.

I meant to say cheers for removing that bit of dirt from Jane´s eyes. It had been troubling her for months and I thought it was just part of her so I didn´t even attempt to get it out.

Jane came by with a lock of hair...oh, I think I´ve already told you.

Anyway, laters,

Yumen

Sumpton

Sumpton court on a November morning, two hundred and thirty three years ago. Do you remember walking through the rain and getting into the old hall? George was waiting for us with a nice cup of tea and you were getting ready to go to India?

I can even remember the smell of the place..fresh wooden floor. A carriage pulled up outside and this girl got out. My god! I haven't seen such beauty since. She was perfect.

Honest cold

Hello. My favourite time of day is between about 6am and 9:30am. I like the feeling of things getting started and I like the light, and I like the dark winter mornings and having cereals inside and preparing for the cold. I like that stuff. The cold is our friend, much more so than the heat. The cold will be honest with us.

stoner ad

there was this anti weed tv campaign commissioned by the government and these guys did it in such a way that the government would have thought it was getting the message across but to the real weed smokers it's actually a secret message from two stoners who have managed to fool the tv and government guys into thinking they were super straight and it's saying "hey guys! hey, stoners! we're with you, dudes! we're fuckin' with you, man!"

I'm so merrily lonely

I'll tell you what...why doesn't everything just go!?

So much HATE!

I can't stand this angry sadness. No! No! NO!

Nothing works! Nothing! It's ALL stupid! EVERYTHING!

Why? Why do I have to live with these people? What's wrong?! It's not fair. Nothing's fair. The whole lot of everything is stupid, stupid, stupid.

I'm so LONELY! Aaaargh!

Ha ha ha ha!

Many, many months without a snooger.

Months without a booger and then bam!

I opened all the windows in the flat today and a bird flew in and through. There was a lot of green outside; the big tree, the meadow, the tank, the algae, the camouflage jacket I lost when I was ten, the peanut butter. The sky was blue and the wind was breezing along.

"Hello!" I said to the world.

"Hello!" said the world.

I hopped in the car and drove down to the beach where I looked for shellfish and identified them with my new shellfish of the British Isles identification guide. But I wasn't in Britain - I was in Switzerland. Oh well, I thought.