Jiggly wee alien

I saw this green, jerking alien in the stairwell this morning. It looked like it was having a fit but then I realised that the movements were a kind of dance and that it was communicating with the mothership, which lay anchored just off Sag Harbour. I was in Beijing and the alien was in Beijing and we were both in the stairwell and it was jerking and I was making discoveries about communication. We both realised at the same moment that our worlds were very different but that beauty was universal and all species could get along incredibly in learning. His eyes, if that is indeed what they were, widened at the moment of realisation.

"It would be nice to stay and talk," I said, "but I've got to get to the bank. The morning reports have to be done by eight-thirty sharp and Billy-Joe-Kid is off with a tummy upset he picked up last week on a trip to Cambodia, so I've absolutely got to be there - to do the reports, you see?"

I didn't know if he would understand. He, or maybe she, stood there for a moment just looking at me. Then he opened his fish-like mouth and these sounds came out:

"Don't worry about it - I'd do the same myself. It's the same on our planet: if the boss doesn't get the reports he gets mad, even if the reports are the same every day!"

"Tell me about it. Anyway, if there's anything you need you can ask my girlfriend; she'll be around till noon. We're on the third floor, right flat."

"Thanks, dude,"said the alien. "That's totally kind of you. I hope the reports go well."

"No worries, man, and I hope your investigation of our planet turns up some nice conclusions!"

I left him there and was about to slip out the front door when I felt a slimy touch on my forearm.

"Wait, human!"

"What is it?"

"Where's Cambodia?" he asked me with a quiver in his voice.

"Ah, of course. Do you know Clitheroe?" I said.

"In Lancashire? Yes, I think we've got a base just to the north of it," he said.

"Well, if you go east for about 7000 kilometres and then south for 4000, you'll be in Cambodia."

The alien paused for a moment, then jigged on his right foot, then stood still again.

"So between Thailand and Vietnam?" he asked.

"I think so, but I'm not sure. There's a world map in the flat - ask my girlfriend to show you. She lived in Cambodia for fifty years," I said.

"Well, that's interesting now, isn't it just? Anyway, sorry for keeping you. Run along, and may you always live in peace!"

"And you!" I cried, and I ran to catch the bus.