Thursday, July 27, 2006

Quality invented harmony.

If there was a nuclear conflict and you were the only survivor, or rather you survived and hadn't found anyone else breathing, you would be in a very interesting situation, I think we can agree on that.
It's important, in this situation, to build yourself safe sleeping quarters. Remember; the longer you spend alone, the tougher it will be if you eventually do meet someone. If they arrive in the night with a vague thought of eating you or using you as a baseball bat, you'll have to act fast.
Make your sleeping den in a corner and have the glowing embers of a fire trench between you and the outside world. Have some petrol in a jar at the end of a slide which runs into the fire. Have your bed be a flip contraption which will take you into a series of tunnels.
When a strander arrives and sets off the bells tinkling by tripping the secret line, wake up. Tip the petrol into the fire and, undercover of the ball of flame, flip the bed and lock the contraption so that he or she cannot follow you. Now run. Run as fast as angels. Make your way to the sea, hop in a speeeeeed boat and make your way south. Go to Italy and start a new life.
Any problems, gimme a shout.
Cheers.

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