Pretty nasty

There were other things I wanted to say that night, but the time wasn't right, and I thought it would only be moaning.  That's what I'm here for, she said, to moan to, but I couldn't just nag all the time - that would surely bring us all down, not just her.  So instead I did nothing, another typical nothing.  I wish I would start doing something, even if it's just a little, because nothing and then dreaming and wondering and getting like all oh my god about what life might have thrown at you is no good, does not get you anywhere old man so behave now, fix it with a fix and drift in and out again for a time.  Pretty nasty.